Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
