i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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