I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
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You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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