I want to walk on stilts...naked
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
