u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
