It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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