Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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