What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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