I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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