is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
