Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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