You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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