I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
