i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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