get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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