I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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