Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
