Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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