He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
