God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
