i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I want a musical about memes.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
