porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
