just come out here and I will go home with you...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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