Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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