"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Randomize
