took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
