Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
