im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
