u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
