what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
