hotel room ftw
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
