You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
