I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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