Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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