Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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