Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
