Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
