have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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