why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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