she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
