Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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