i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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