Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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