I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
