you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
