i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i dont even know how to be here
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
