I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
