It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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