You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
