Tell her she can't have a vagina
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
