called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
