It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
two words...techno handjob
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
