Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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