Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
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So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
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