I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
