Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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