We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
