You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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