So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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