i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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