I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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