There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
