This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
