My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
