i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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