Will you blow on my dice?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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