You're completely useless in the revolution.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
